DRIVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
When we are talking about driving a car, driving a car is something you can’t just take or do anyhow. The drivers are always conscious of two things when driving, the BREAK and the ROAD. A driver won’t just match the break anyhow without a reason or purpose.
It doesn’t matter how fast you can speed, what makes you a good driver is the ability for you to maintain that particular speed and the ability for you to calculate the distance of a car in your front and the one behind you before you overtake. Don’t think because you can drive also means you are a good driver, no.
As a good driver before you leave your house in the morning, you will open the bonnet, check the oil level, water level, check the nut of the tyre and check if the car is in a good condition, then you ignite the engine and leave for work or anywhere you are going.
Also when you want to buy a car, you will tell them to open the bonnet, you will check the engine, check everything and ask yourself, how many years will this car serve me? Is it going to serve me for 5 or 10 years? If the answer is yes, then you purchase the car or bus. Anyway I’m not dealing with car, and am not here to talk about car but I want to talk about relationship issue.
When we are talking about driving your relationship, it means how matured you are able to handle and deal with your relationship. In a car we have the engine, the wheel, the break, the torture, the accelerator and the gear. Your relationship is like a car, you can’t over speed, and at the same time you won’t be too slow, but always moderate.
Like the first illustration I made, before buying any car, you will look at the engine, what is the capacity of this engine, how fast can it move, how long will it serve me? Then if it meets your requirement, then you go for it. So also when you want to go into a relationship as a guy or lady, the first thing you are to look at is the content of the engine you want to marry. I mean the content of what the lady or guy is carrying. The engine I’m referring to is what I call PURPOSE and VISION. Ask the person, does he or she have a purpose or vision? Because that is the engine of his or her life, when he or she doesn’t have a purpose, my dear, there is no future, you will only be running helter skelter. Because as a driver, you can’t just wake up in the morning and ignite your car and move without having a specific place you are going.
If you don’t, you will just be going anywhere you like and if care is not taken, you might be robbed or land where you don’t like. When you have a specific place you are going as a driver, it is that place you will be focused on, you won’t mind what people will say, because some people might be trying to tell you that, hey, why not take this direction? But since you know where you are going, it is that same place you will focus on. Also when you are going as a driver, you might get to a place where there will be gallop, that you might be on speed but suddenly you get to the gallop, your ability to control your speed at that period is what qualifies you as a good driver.
So as I was saying, you first look at the content of what the lady or guy is carrying. If I marry him or her, hope my life won’t be in danger? Is he or she having a purpose? Because it is that purpose and vision that will stand as the destination of where you are going. That is what will make you to be focused that yes, this is where we are both going, this is what we want to achieve, we both have a future. Then you ignite your relationship and start driving. How can you know if he or she has a purpose? By prayer and by asking, his or her attitude and character, because the way someone who has a vision and purpose will doing will be different from others, ask him or her what he or she can say or know about vision and purpose, from his or her definition then you ask him or her that does he or she has any?
This reminds me of the story of Pastor E.A Adeboye when he wanted to marry his wife Mrs Folu Adeboye. Baba said out of the four guys that want to marry her then, he was the least one, among them was a lawyer, banker, etc. He said he doesn’t have a car, cloths and money, but little wisdom. So one day mama was driving along the road and she told Baba that she saw his house, how beautiful it was. But Baba said it’s high time he told mama who he is, it is not that baba has been lying before, but mama’s aim was that baba is rich. Baba said he told her that he doesn’t have a car, house and money, but if she marries him, he will give her what is beyond money. Thank God that mama keyed into that vision and she made the right choice. What happen today? We can all see with our eyes, Baba has given mama what money cannot buy, all over the world when Pastor E.A Adeboye’s name is been mentioned, likewise Pastor Mrs Folu Adeboye’s name is also mentioned. There is no country in this world that they don’t mention or know her name.
Same thing with Bishop David Oyedepo and his wife, Bishop Oyedepo has no money when he met his wife, but she made the right choice by looking beyond the physical, she looked at the future and sees something glorious. We can all see with our eyes. That’s why I will urge you to know who God is, have a relationship with God so that when it is time for you to marry, you will be able to see something beyond the physical, you will be able to look at the Spiritual realm and see something great ahead of you.
Beloved, money is not the issue, don’t look at the present, look at the future, does he have a purpose and vision? If he does, go ahead. Let assume Pastor Mrs Folu Adeboye didn’t look at the future, and she didn’t marry Pastor E.A Adeboye, you can never know anybody bearing Folu. Her name can never be known all over the world, but thank God for her, for making the right choice.
Guys you also should ask the lady about his or her purpose, because when you marry a lady who doesn’t have a purpose and vision, she will not allow you to fulfill that your purpose and vision because she doesn’t have any. So please be wise, likewise you as the lady, when you marry a guy who doesn’t have a purpose and vision, he will not allow you to fulfill that purpose and vision, he will be the one to kill it because he doesn’t have any.
Along driving your relationship, you will have to overtake some cars that might be too slow that might want to delay you. Those cars you need to overtake in your relationship are the ladies or guys. They might want to come, saying oh baby or guy, you look handsome or beautiful, and please can we be friends? What will you do? You will overtake them, because they will later want something beyond friendship, and I will urge you to let the Holy Spirit guide and lead you, because it is not everybody that comes your way you must be friend with, some are devil, but they will come in form of someone that is good, not known that they have a bad plan for your life, so be careful. So many godly relationships have clashed due to be associating with a bad friend.
Also you might be on motion, suddenly you ran into a gallop unaware, what happens? The motion of the car will reduce, you will change the gear back to 1or 2. What makes you to be able to control that speed when you ran into the gallop is what makes you an expert and you are able to continue with your driving. The gallop you will run into in your relationship is what I called CHALLENGES/OFFENCE/TRIALS. Your relationship might be looking sweet or awesome, but suddenly your partner did something that makes you angry, that anger is the gallop because as at that moment your mood will change, the acceleration of your mood will reduce, but the ability for you to control that anger and issues or challenges is what I called MATURITY.
Beloved, driving your relationship is something that is good, some might think it is difficult, no; it’s not, once you can apply all the principle you needed in order to drive your relationship, I’m assuring you a peaceful and awesome relationship and marriage.
The engine is your PURPOSE AND VISION
The wheel is your PRAYER
The break is your WISDOM
The gear is your MATURITY
The accelerator is your BIBLE
Let me explain those principles. I think those are the major paramount things in a car. I decide to use the engine as a PURPOSE and VISION, because that’s the power house of a car, and someone who doesn’t have a purpose and vision is nothing but empty. I think have talked about that.
A driver woke up around 6am in the morning, he said to himself, I want to carry passenger from Lagos to Abuja. He was on the queue and the bus was full, he commenced his journey. If I may ask, what is the purpose and vision of that journey? Abuja is the purpose and vision. That means all his attention and focus will be on how he will get to Abuja safely and peacefully. Likewise you as the guy or lady, the purpose and the vision of the person you are in a relationship with will determine how focused you will be, you will know that both of you are heading somewhere glorious and bright, but if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a purpose and vision, you are heading into war and endurance.
I know of a brother, he is my church member, but now married, when he met the wife he married, he has no good job then, and he was living in just one room apartment, he has no good mattress but just only 3 and half mattress, that was the only thing he has. The woman never mind of his present situation or condition, she has seen something beyond the physical, she wasn’t bothered about anything, but she keyed into the future. They got married, three months after their wedding, things changed for them, the husband got a good job, and from there he was able to establish himself. His house that he built wasn’t just an ordinary house, but a mansion, a house that people cannot neglect; his car also is not just an ordinary car, but a good one.
Things changed for them positively, the man now has his own company where he employed people to work for him. Let assume the wife did not look at the future but looked at the present; she would have missed the man and later regret. Beloved, look at the future, look beyond the physical, use your spiritual eyes to see something that ordinary eyes cannot see. And it is not that if the woman did not marry him, he will not become someone in life, no, of course he will become someone great in life because God will bring someone for the man that will take her place, just that the woman will regret later when she saw the man who was nothing before, but now somebody. Please be wise.
The wheel is your PRAYER: As a driver, there is something you use to control the direction of the car and that is called the WHEEL. You use the wheel to avoid any pot holes that might want to spoil your car or caused you delay.
You in a relationship, your wheel is prayer. The bible says pray without ceasing. 1Thessalonians 5:17. You use prayer to control things in the Spiritual realm and see the result physically. Anything that doesn’t want you and your partner to succeed in getting married so as not to fulfill that purpose and vision you have, you use prayer to tackle and destroy them. That is why I said the wheel is your PRAYER. You need prayer in your relationship because the devil will not want the both of you to end up marrying each other, especially when he had seen the future of you both, so he will be looking for every means to separate you, but when you indulge in prayer, you will overcome.
The break is your WISDOM: As a good and expert driver you don’t just match the break anyhow without a purpose or reason. You use wisdom when you want to match the break. For example, you are accelerating on the speedometer of about 140 and suddenly you match the break, what will happen? It is accident, I am sure it will tumble except if God want to have mercy. You also use your break when you get to where there are pot holes or you want to park or slow down.
You in a relationship, your own break is your WISDOM, you use wisdom to do things in your relationship, you use wisdom to handle your partner and other people. The bible says wisdom is the principal thing, so therefore get wisdom and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs 4:7
You are in a relationship doesn’t mean that guys or ladies won’t disturb you. They will surly disturb you; those are the pot holes and gallop, go slow that you need to apply your break (wisdom) in order to handle and overtake them. And also wisdom in handling each other, because both of you are from different background, with different upbringing, and with different teaching or training, so you use your wisdom in handling each other so as to understand each other and have a good relationship.
The gear is your MATURITY: After overtaking or avoiding gallop, the next thing is to change your gear, from one to two, two to three, etc. Why? So as to increase the speed of your car. After you are able to handle and tackle those guys or ladies toasting you, what next? You change your gear. So also, if your partner offends you, maturity and wisdom is what you need to handle the issue. If you are thinking your partner can’t offend you, forget, it’s a lie. For example, you and your partner might be playing, having fun, making each other to laugh, that shows you are on a speed, but suddenly he or she offends you or did something wrong, what happened? The speed reduces, the mood changes, that shows go slow has occurred, but your ability to tackle that issue as at that time and settle it is what I mean by MATURITY, then you change the gear and speed over again.
I do say that maturity is not all about money, age or wealth; you can have everything and still not matured. And age doesn’t mean that you are matured, because at times someone who is 20 years old can be well matured than someone who is 30 years old. For example, Drake is 30 years old in a relationship, Drake was sitting down watching TV, so his girlfriend brought something for him, but unintentionally she mistakenly matched Drake’s leg, before she knew it, Drake has started insulting her, while she kept apologizing that it wasn’t intentionally, but instead, Drake slapped her. Felix is 20 years old in a relationship, Felix was sitting down relaxing while his girlfriend brought something for him, she mistakenly matched his leg, immediately she was begging Felix that she is sorry, it wasn’t intentionally, Felix stood up and said, oh baby common, I know it’s not intentionally and what if it was even intentionally do you expect me to be angry because of that? Felix hugged her and gave her a peck.
If we are to look at that illustration I gave, between Drake and Felix, when we look at their age, who is meant to be matured among them? Drake is meant to be matured because he is 30 years old and while Felix is 20 years old, but obviously Drake wasn’t matured, but Felix was well matured because what Felix should be the one to be angry at, it was Drake that got angry with it. So that should let you know that age doesn’t mean that someone is matured, what makes someone to be matured is the way he or she handle things and issues around him or her. So don’t be excited because of your age, your age is nothing, maturity is what matters.
The accelerator is your BIBLE: We know it’s not possible for a car to move without an accelerator, It can’t. After changing the gear, what else do you press? You start pressing the accelerator so as to ensure continuous motion or speed. Likewise you in a relationship, your accelerator is your BIBLE. Everything you need to build your relationship upon is inside the bible. For example, the bible says marriage is good and it should be hold in honor and the marriage bed should remain undefiled. That should tell you that it is a sin to have sex with each other while you are still in a relationship/courtship, if you do, you can’t expect your relationship to be moving well. Hebrews 13vs4
So also, the bible says wives should submit themselves unto their own husbands. That shows that you as the lady should submit yourself to your man/husband, don’t disrespect him, make him your priority, cherish him, honor him and respect him. Likewise the bible says husband should love their wives just as Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5vs22-25
That means you as the man should love your woman, don’t love anybody apart from her, don’t cheat on her, be committed to her and make sure you continue to love her and respect her also, cherish, honor, value her, by doing so, you are accelerating your relationship and marriage.
The bible says in the book of Joshua 1:8. It says this book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shall meditate on it day and night, that thou may observe to do according to all that is written in it, for then thou shall make thy way prosperous, and then thou shall have good success.
That means that for you to have a successful relationship/marriage, the word of God which is the bible must not depart from your relationship, you must both meditate on it day and night, so that you will be able to observe and do according to all that is written in it and by doing so you will make your relationship/marriage prosperous and your relationship/marriage will be a good success. I felt pity for those who are reading their bible and not doing according to what they read, it is better for you not to read the bible than reading it and not acting according to what you’ve read, it is very bad. Read your bible and act on what you read, it is then you can be prosperous and have good success.
I pray that God will give you the understanding of what I have shared with you in Jesus name, Amen.
By Adeniran Oluwadarasimi Ayodeji
For questions & Answers
Contact/whatsapp number: 08061659793
Or send an email to us on